Growing…

 

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I’m here to grow into my best.

I just need to be free to grow, to have the emotional room to breathe, to stretch and try my wings, to succeed, and, especially, to fail.

There are no rules to guide myself. I just need to find my own way, at my own pace, and to accept the truths I discover about myself.

I have to give up my safety net and risk. I’ll discover that my world grows with the mistakes I can take responsibility for.

If I allow my parents to stay too close, I remain a child forever… I cannot grow in the presence of a parent who does not believe that I am good.

I cannot grow if I am always protected.

Growing is freeing the good that is already there, I do this by letting go of what does not work for me. The loss of a false fantasy is a gain, but I have to find this out for myself.

I grow most when I live in the belief that I have something to give to the world.

If I dont grow, everything becomes a repetition of the past.

I’ll always grow when I give my love.

The self I admire is the person I become.

Failure to admit the truth always blocks my growth, and even fools and children have lessons to teach.

Dont grow old, grow better.

To expect to grow is to stay forever young.

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Listen

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Someone gave me some wonderful advice:

“Just listen”.

“Listen. When other people are talking, let them express their thoughts, their opinions, and their feelings, especially their feelings. Dont just let them talk; listen to what they are saying. Pay attention. Try to understand”.

Listen. I dont have to agree. As a matter of fact, whether I agree or not should be beside the point. Why should I express my opinions or feelings while someone else is expressing his or hers. Do I have a problem with that??? Do I feel I need to express my opinion, that I must make my feelings known? When others are speaking, I wont be heard anyway, and I’ll just lose points for trying.

Well, I should really really listen without waiting for an opportunity to give my side, or pounce on the other person, or correct his or her mistakes. The other person’s reasoning and information is surely full of mistakes and distortions. So what??? So is mine.

“Listen in sincere silence.” It wont kill me. I dont need to prove my point. Just listen. Everyone thinks a good listener is smart. Hehe.

Listen. I dont need to persuade the other person, just understand. If I dont, I will need to ask, “could you explain that?” or “what do you really mean?” but giving my opinion while the other person is talking. Unacceptable. Just let him or her talk.

“The good listener hears the unspoken thought. Listen for it. When the other person is finished, mention that inner thought. The other person will know you heard and understood”.

“Then the situation will be become quiet because the other person will be listening to your hearing. All the pressure will fade and you can get on with life”.

Listen. There is nothing quite like being heard. 🙂

Forgive…

 

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It’s time. What is the point of keepin my hurt alive?

To justify my anger and make myself feel better about plotting my revenge? Not a good place to live, in a mind that is filled with hate, and I am frozen in hatred when I dont forgive.

I dont want to forgive? I probably have good reasons, a long list of good reasons. Without arguing with the fact that I was hurt, why is it that I am the one who is still suffering?

Forgiving is the next step and the last step.

Forgiving is letting go of my hurt.

If I am holding onto my pain because I want to show the person who hurt me how much damage he or she caused me, or if I act in a self defeating way, always courting failure, allowing success to slip through my life, displayin my hurt by playing the role of a damaged person, perhaps I am makin a big mistake.

If the person who hurt me could be influenced by my suffering to feel guilt and remorse and make amends to me, he or she would most likely be the kind of person who never would have hurt me in the first place.

Life always gets complicated when I conceal my hurt and wait for people to come to me and apologize. My withheld hurt turns into anger and make me victimize myself.

If I expect others to make repairs, im always disappointed.

I just need to forgive as much as I deserve to be forgiven.

I need to forgive if ever I am to love again.

The next step.

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Wherever we’re going, whatever our dreams, the next step we take will be from this place.

We cannot take the next step unless we know where we are right now.

To risk without knowing the ground we stand upon is to leap into the darkness.

The next step is not going to be all that different from the steps we took to get to this place.

Know this place. Know how we got here, our motivations, the truth about our shortcomings, the limitations that held us back.

Know the ground on which we stand, without illusion, pretense, or self deception.

We all want to believe we are better off that we are, but at the time when we risk and have to look into the depth of the chasm we’re trying to span,  our weaknesses display themselves and deflate our resolve.

So know where you are. Accept your condition for what it is. Take responsibility for gettin here and stayin as long as you have.

If we’ve been stuck, admit out fear and lack of courage. Dont blame others. Dont condemn the world.

The place where we stand is the consequence of our determination. If we find our achievements lacking, we should look at ourselves, not outside.

Perhaps we were not motivated. Perhaps we did not want what we claimed we needed. Perhaps we only fooled ourselves.

If we understand how we got to this place, we will know the next step and how to take it.

Dont fear the future, read the past.

Mind your own business.

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People who stick their noses in other people’s business dont have much going on in their own lives.

It’s not your business to know who is havin an affair, a nervous breakdown, going bankrupt, or gettin divorced.

Insecure people are always looking at what other people are doing. They become so afraid someone is about to overtake them that they stop concentrating on their goals.

Unless you’re directly involved, what other people are doing or thinking isnt your business.

But in case you want to know, others, like you, are sifting through confusing facts, trying to sort truth from distortion and figure out what to do next. Other people feel lost much of the time and worry, trying to cover their mistakes.

If you could know what others were thinking and react to it, your life would become crazy. Believe this.

Its not your business to figure out if other people are doing better or worse than you. Besides, how can you really tell what you are comparing yourself with?

What good is it to pride yourself on being more productive than a loafer or better than some incompetent bragart?

Worse, you begin to doubt yourself when you believe others are ahead of you, and if you believe you are ahead of others you may become complacent and lose your momentum.

If you do mind other people’s business, sooner or later you’re going to act on your curiosity and say or do something intrusive that you’re bound to regret.

And while you are minding other people’s business, who’s minding yours?