Let go…

You were hurt.

Badly hurt.

Someone you trusted betrayed you.

Your plans fell through.

You took a risk and lost.

What are you going to do about it?

Seek revenge, live in an angry fantasy, eat your heart out?

If there is peace to be made, make it, but not at the price of hiding your hurt or pretending that everything is OK!!!

You need to let go of what doesn’t work for you.

Risk admitting what you already know in your heart.

Learn whatever lesson there is to learn from your loss, what matters and what makes no difference.

Save what can be saved.

Let go of what is never going to be.

Holding onto the impossible is the source of most of your pain.

Remember, in the end, suffering is just another choice…

Express your hurt…

The surest way of to become unhappy is to keep your hurt inside.

If there is a secret to mental health, this is it: tell the people who hurt you that they hurt you when they hurt you.

Hurt is the pain of the moment. Hurt is happening right. Its cause is right in front of you. Hurt speaks for itself, motivating you to limit your pain.

Anxiety is pain in the future. It may happen, and then again, it may not. Anxiety inspires you to get out of the way of anger.

Withheld hurt turns into anger. Anger helps you express your hurt by energizing you to protect yourself.

When you hold in hurt, you redirect your anger at yourself. Such inward anger is called guilt. It serves no positive purpose. It only makes you think of getting even, fills your head with bad thoughts, and erodes your self – confidence as you begin to doubt your goodness.

Obviously the only anger that makes sense is still attached to the hurt that caused it.

We all need to learn to express our heart as it happens.

Telling someone how he or she hurt you can be risky, because the person who hurt you is probably someone you care about.

What if the other person calls you ‘oversensitive’ or tells you that your hurt is unimportant and doesn’t take your feelings seriously?

If the other person doesnt care about your feelings, ho or she doesnt care about you. The sooner you know this, the better. Why waste more time?

What if the other person says he or she hurt you out of anger because of being hurt by you? It’s a good time to discover the truth, clear the air, and become friends again.

What if the other person cant remember hurting you or simply denies that the hurtful event ever took place?

He or she may be telling the truth, because most people do not hurt others intentionally. When you are silent it is sometimes hard for others to recognize that you’ve been hurt.

Expressing your hurt sometimes puts your love or friendship on the line. It always tests your love for yourself.

It is always the right thing to do in any relationship that you value.

Express your hurt as simply as directly as possible when you first notice it.

Tell the other person how you were hurt. You can mention that you are angry, but dont display the anger or attack. That will only hurt the other person, who wont be able to listen, making matters worse.

Whatever you do, don’t allow your hurt to age.

If you cannot express your hurt to another person you cannot express your love, for old anger blocks positive feelings.

If you value your love, you need to express your hurt.

Holding in hurt is the way that love dies…

Peace of mind.

Peace of mind is knowing that you did what you had to do and forgiving yourself when you weren’t as strong as you wanted to be.

Peace of mind is an easy thing.

When you have to work at it, you do not find peace of mind, because this peace of mind you work for is too fragile, too tentative…

Peace of mind needs to be present before your good work, not the result of it.

If you can accept that you have good intentions, you can have peace of mind.

You can have peace of mind before forgiving, if you are sincere and intend to forgive. You can have peace of mind before setting right a difficult situation if you are determined in your intention.

Peace of mind is the acceptance of your good and your intention to do the right thing.

If you have to accomplish something to have peace of mind, even if it is making good on damage you have done to others or keeping promises, your peace of mind is only fleeting.

True peace of mind is knowing that you will do what you need to do and believing in your goodness and your power to do it!

 “Promise yourself to be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind”. – Christian D. Larson

Be your own person.

People who say they cannot be their own person usually claim that someone else is keeping them from being themselves.

How can that be true?? How can you be anyone but yourself??

When you are afraid to risk, you stop being your own person. Then you become the ward of anyone who will protect you.

Unfortunately, the person who protects you expects you to behave like the person he or she feels you should be, the person he or she rescued you to be come.

If you’re afraid of being your own person, you’re probably afraid of taking care of yourself or being on your own.

If someone should want to accompany you, fine; but the purpose of choosing your own way is to keep company with your own best, not to rely on the strength of others.

Accept your independence and the loneliness that comes with it by being willing to go it alone, not in defiance, but as a choice.

If you’re afraid of being on your own person, you’re probably afraid of your anger. You feel you have to hold it in or else you might offend the person you depend on for your survival, or run the risk of being thrown out in the cold if you express yourself.

So you hold  your anger inside, and after a time it turns inward. Then you hate yourself for being weak, inferior, not being your own person.

It’s a vicious cycle.

You’re never trapped if you’re your own person.

You may make mistakes, but you’re free to correct them.

You may hurt others, but you are able to apologize and deal with their rejection.

You may be hurt, but you feel strong enough to love again.

Save yourself.

Just do what’s right for you.

Express yourself.

Find your life and live it.

If you cannot act in your own best interests, you cannot act in anyone else’s.

Smiles.

🙂

Being Happy

Being happy is liking the way you feel and being open to the future without fear.

Being happy is accepting yourself at this place and time.

Being happy is not being perfect, becoming rich, falling in love, having power, knowing the right people, or succeeding in your work.

Being happy is liking yourself the way you are right now – maybe not all of yourself, but the essential you.

You deserve to love yourself for the way you are at this moment.

If you think you have to be more than you are now to be happy and love yourself, you are imposing impossible conditions on yourself.

Only you know yourself the way you do. You can complete the longest and least sympathetic inventory of your faults. At any time, no matter how successful or accomplished you become, you will be able to undermine your happiness by reciting this list of faults.

Know your faults but don’t allow their existence to become an excuse for not loving yourself just the way you are.

Keep smiling!
😀

Hello world!

Hello WordPress.com! This is my very first post. Starting this blog was inspired by my dearest mother’s day-to-day life positive thinking and attitude and her genuine teachings of life lessons and of course life experiences, lows and downs… and Im hoping something good and positive comes out from my blogging!! 😀 I guess, by now, all of us, everyone is looking for happiness.

But Happiness is not a goal. It is a result of doing what we like and relating honestly to other people.

Happiness is about being our own person, making our own decisions, doing what we want because we want to do it, and living our own lives to please ourselves. It’s about being independent, allowing others to be free, and seeking the best in ourselves and in the world.

It’s so easy to do the opposite – to cling to others expecting to be taken care of, to control people and blame them when things go wrong, to be insincere and play at relationships and careers rather than commit, to tease rather than respond, and to live on the fringe of others’ lives rather than in the middle of our own.

When we do not live our lives as our own person, we live an unhappy life indeed. We have the sense that our lives are going nowhere, that life has little meaning, and that the meaning it does have loses its substance when we examine it closely.

Our lives are supposed to be for ourselves.

Our lives are given to us to create its meaning. We have no one to blame if our lives does not turn out the way we wanted it to be. No one owed us anything. We are the only persons who can make a lasting difference. A little boost of support here or there means nothing unless we have committed to go all the way ourselves, no matter what happens.

No promises that anyone ever made to us have the power to make a lasting difference.

No betrayal or abandonment has the power to limit our growth or blunt our successes unless we need an excuse for failing that badly.

Putting it bluntly, we all have the ability to get over just about everything. And if we intend to be happy during this life we are going to have to get over a lot all the time.

The first thing we have to get over is the belief that someone is coming in our lives who is going to make all the difference.

Don’t count on anyone coming to rescue you, give you the big break, defeat your enemies, stand up for you, recognize your worth, and open doors.

Either we are the savior in our own lives or our lives are without redemption.

We all deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy, but you also deserve everything that you accept. So look at your unhappiness. It is a record of your failure to be your own person.

Our unhappiness is really nothing more than a reminder that we have some work to do to be happy again.

Because being happy is liking the way we feel; if we are unhappy it means that we don’t like the way we feel.

We are the persons who are supposed to do something about that.

Being happy requires that we take subtle but important risks all the time.

We need to assert ourselves. Avoid manipulation, pointless arguments, and confrontations.

We need to tell the truth and correct our lies.

We need to stop playing the victims so we can enjoy our successes without feeling guilty.

To find happiness we need to be our own persons, not a pretender.

We need to let go of our expectations of what we think life should be like so that we don’t unrealistically judge others and find them lacking and ungiving.

We need to give up living in the past.

We need to learn to forgive and to let go in order to move on.

We need to learn to listen in order to bring out the best in others.

We need to take ourselves seriously, but not so seriously that we have to be perfect all the time or cannot admit our errors or weakness.

We need to understand that we are always growing. So we must continually be aware of the compromises that inhibit our growth and the relationships where we feel we give away too much.

We need a purpose in life.

We need to work at that purpose and create the lives we want, not live in empty hopes of deliverance.

Being happy takes work, the work of life. Since we are going to live our own lives, we might as well live it ass our best.

Being happy is understanding and accepting ourselves as we are right now.

That is the only true freedom.

This, the only time to achieve it.

You, the only person who can do it!!

Happy reading!